selfiepolice:

i feel u

or like i want to

(Source: cutebiche)

lzbth:

i just almost missed my train because i was taking a personality quiz to find out what fruit I am

burgrs:

hotdammysammy:

burgrs:

*eats 1,000 oranges* its fruit i won’t gain weight

An orange is approximately 87 calories. If you were to eat 1,000 oranges that would be 87,000 calories.

its fruit i wont gain weight 

coagulates:

the worst part about ugly dudes is everyone defends them like ‘he’s really funny though’ or something but if a chick is ugly to someone they just straight up dirt like they might as well not even have a personality 

(Source: slimeeeman)

Deleted lines from The Avengers script #95

*Fury attempts to take the Tesseract*
Loki: Please don't. If you wouldn't quite mind, I still need that. Apologies for the mess; it was terribly ungentlemanly of me, sorry...I am just so uncontrollably excited about this.
me: *owns 264 unread books*
me: *buys 17 new books*
me: *rereads harry potter*

deersjaw:

Drink milk every day to prepare for the skeleton war

(Source: totalhunk)

exhistur:

I wonder if anyone ever looks at me while I’m doing something and thinks I’m pretty. Because I do that all the time to people. 

endiot:

hes such a dork

i wanna sit on his dick

albino-rhinno:

heart:

HOW TO WRITE AN ESSAY IN TWO HOURS DURING SCHOOL a novel written by me

you wrote the novel but not the essay