unlimitedgoats:

luxvriously:

My anaconda will consider it

My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.

tiqachu:

demeaniac:

one sentence horror story: “seems like we’re the last two people on earth, m’lady”

NO.

p-eachful:

being too lazy to breathe will probably be the cause of my death tbh

tittily:

my little cousin got bit by a house spider and she was crying so i went to get some stuff to soothe and numb it but before i could even walk out the door i heard her quietly whisper ‘i can’t handle the responsibility of being spiderman’

writerlyn:

wishuponastardis:

Special skills: extensive Harry Potter knowledge, can watch an entire TV show in a week, knows words to every Disney song, can form abnormally strong attachments to fictional characters, Microsoft Word

So you mean, able to retain knowledge, has incredible focus and drive, excellent at processing media, remembers obscure details when needed, and has great skill at creating connections with individuals despite minimal interfacing?

And Microsoft Word?

noizaooba:

do u have that one person who you kinda just 

im so happy youre alive i dont care that youre miles and miles away i just love you a lot and care for you so much

cchannette:

jwisser:

thepasta-nerada:

vvrathia:

the sexual tension when u and ur crush are online on fb at the same time and u just stare at their lil green dot

and suddenly you know what gatsby felt like

This is actually the most profound and appropriate literary allusion I’ve encountered so far this week.

oh my god

(Source: twoukofukawa)

cyberist:

"i don’t need to write that down, i’ll rememb—" 

do NOT

flewor:

"was that awkward eye contact or were we checking eachother out" - a life story

(Source: flewor)

coochiepebble:

*Hears footsteps towards my room* Please dont